Stop Following Like & Dislike: The Hidden Gateway to Energy, Clarity, and Self-Mastery

Photo by Farnoosh Abdollahi on Unslplash

Most people live their entire lives guided by two forces: Like and dislike.

  • “I feel like doing this.”

  • “I don’t feel like doing that.”

It sounds harmless. Even natural.

But if you look closely, this pattern quietly shapes your entire reality — your discipline, your results, your confidence, and even your sense of self.

And more importantly: It keeps you trapped in a reactive life.

There is another way to live.

The Invisible Loop That Controls You

Almost everything you do follows this pattern:

Stimulus → Like/Dislike → Reaction

  • You feel discomfort → you avoid

  • You feel pleasure → you chase

  • You feel resistance → you delay

This loop is automatic. Fast. Unquestioned.

And because it runs unconsciously, it consumes your energy and limits your capacity.

What Happens When You Don’t Follow It

Something subtle — but powerful — begins to appear.

When you pause and don’t immediately obey like or dislike, a small gap opens.

A moment where: You are aware of the impulse, but not controlled by it (not following it)

That gap feels like: Stillness. Space. Presence. Emptiness.

At first, it’s tiny. Almost unnoticeable.

But it changes everything.

The Gap Is Not Emptiness — It’s Power

Most people think that if they don’t follow their impulses, they’ll become passive or lose motivation.

The opposite is true.

In that gap:

  • Energy is no longer wasted on inner conflict

  • Attention is no longer fragmented

  • Awareness becomes stable

What you experience is:

  • More clarity

  • More available energy

  • More precise action

Now you can choose what to do.

The Critical Shift: From Reaction to Conscious Action

This is where most people misunderstand. Not following like/dislike does not mean:

  • Suppressing desire

  • Ignoring feelings

  • Becoming passive

It means: You see the impulse clearly — but you decide the action.

For example:

  • You don’t feel like working → you notice it → you still begin (by relying on the presence)

  • You feel excited → you notice it → you don’t get carried away. (You relax and release it)

Emotion no longer decides your action, but clarity does.

The Gap Expands Over Time

Every time you: Notice an impulse, but don’t automatically obey it. You act deliberately instead.

You strengthen something fundamental: Awareness over reactivity

At first, the gap is small and subtle.

But with repetition, it:

  • becomes easier to access

  • stays present under pressure

  • no longer collapses under discomfort

This is what it means to “expand the gap.”

Expanded Gap = Expanded Capacity

As the gap grows, something remarkable happens:

You can:

  • Do difficult things without inner resistance controlling you

  • Stay calm under pressure

  • Act without wasting energy on hesitation or conflict

Your capacity increases because:

  • Energy is conserved

  • Attention is unified

  • Action is clean

You experience: Calm inside. Strong action outside.

The Deeper Realization

At a certain point, something shifts:

You realize the gap was always there.

You were just constantly collapsing into: desire, avoidance, reaction

As that stops, awareness becomes stable.

And from that stability: Action becomes powerful.

Application: A Simple Practice You Can Start Today

The next time you think: “I don’t feel like doing this.”

Do this instead:

  1. Pause, enjoy one full breath

  2. Notice the resistance (don’t fight it - let it be)

  3. Relax your body slightly

  4. Start small, clean, deliberate.

That moment of pause and relaxation — right before you act — is the gap.

Train that moment.

A life driven by like and dislike is unstable.

A life rooted in awareness is expansive.

Linh Nguyen